(laugh) I have to check this out. In my opinion, there is something strange about every single subway station throughout New York City, but this is pretty hilarious.
I hate how perfect Mila Kunis' feet are. I really pride myself in not having a foot fetish, but something about women who have perfect aligned toes, painted just nicely and ever so delicately? Yup, I would suck the salt off those feet. Just saying, ladies...
I cannot describe it, but having watched "Black Swan" once, I am addicted. It is one of those flicks which messed with my head along the lines of a "Clockwork Orange" but in a more, sincere, sexual manner. Oh yeah, this is also pretty much the story of an ex-girlfriend of mine too. (laugh) Minus the bloody ending. (laugh)
I am dumb silly thirsty. I never thought I would see Kate Upton's breasts, in this setting, before her 21st birthday. Wowwzers!
Yo! I seriously love this record. The fact Richie literally makes me fall back and think about every video game experience I had from 1990 to 1995? Man oh freaking man. (laugh)
This is one reason why I miss having a steady girlfriend. Sure, I bet there are plenty of fellas who have cool girlfriends they hang out with, but only a woman who could proudly call herself your "girl" or, even worse, "wifey" would dare pull down her pants "and" panties at a hardware store. Regular girl friends do not do this, unless maybe they are drunk.
And she is dumb silly young, can you believe it? I thought it was a joke when I would hear the name "Kate Upton" tossed around over the past year and a half, but having seen the work she has built up thus far? Crazy. Oh yes, her breasts are immaculate as well. Wooowwwzers is a freaking understatement.
You simply cannot blame it on me being horny, although my last name is, technically, LangHORNE. I have this thing where I constantly wonder what type of underwear a woman is wearing. It actually has nothing to do with age. From 18 to 34 to 48 to 72, the thought runs through my mind, "I wonder if she is wearing a g-string, thong or, big underwear." So to all the women out there who wear white pants or obvious see-through clothing, just know, myself and a grip of other men are peering through.
Coney Island is my weakness. I simply cannot explain it. For some reason, I am drawn to the sandy beach, the sinful atmosphere which is composed of Brooklyn natives and out-of-towners who try to mingle in with Nathan's hot dogs and the pleasantly noticeable scum. Yes, mix all of those together, add some sunshine, cotton candy and a few cleaned up attractions and you have my sure bet spot for a summer hook-up. Granted, there are a gazillion places I could take a shorty over the summer, but something about taking the local train to the last stop has always been vital. As long as I continue to breathe and the Island still welcomes new life, I plan on going there every summer.
Oh yeah, I am also named after the flick "The Warriors" and we all know where they represented. (laugh)
I am extremely picky when it comes to sex. Yes, I do realize this is a public space but I have to be honest for a minute. While most fellas, I would assume, are most interested in going right into the sex, I am determined to make my girl (for the moment) worked up. Something about oral sex, 69 and, most importantly, working up the wetness on a woman before engaging in a vaginal explosion night, well, is the most important thing in life.
(laugh) I have no idea what it is about her, but I really feel as though Sally Charles is my future wife. (laugh) Okay, okay, now I may have gone a bit to the extreme right there, but every few months I come across an adult film star who I "fall in love" with in the sense of seeing them more than just women having sex on camera. She makes me want to actually get back into a relationship.
I love Sally Charles. Love. Love. Love. There are just some women you meet in life which you know, man oh man, there is something more which lies ---> resides ---> must be here. The English accent is an immense turn-on, the body is right and her love for regular, dope pop culture stuff (she is rocking a Super Mario shirt, yo), I have fallen in love once again. Yes, she is, the prototype.
I love women. Duh. But I really love women in the sense of how versatile they are. On Friday nights, I want one of those Soho shorties who wants to just walk throughout the area and hang out. Come Saturday? I want a sports head shorty who already has her Yankee shirt hanging on the bathroom door and asking me if we should go 50/50 to park at the stadium or just hop on the bus. Sundays? Book worm shorty. The shorty who wants to just sleep in, grab the oversized blanket and throw in Netflix flicks with some small snacks, falling in and out of naps and sloppy kissing. Mondays? Journalist shorty. A shorty who writers for either a rival website or publication, sending me messages (IM or text) boasting about who she is interviewing for the day. Tuesdays, easy, music head girl. A shorty who is filled with hip-hop knowledge and knows what drops. Wednesdays? The sex freak. What better of a lady than one who respects Hump Day? Thursdays? Fill-in-the-blank type of girl. Eh, I need a wild card. (laugh)
One thing me and the big homie Curren$y have in common is a thing for women named "Lola." Whether it is Lola Monroe or "Run Lola Run," there is some huge attraction toward those two-syllable little ladies. Lola James, you are no different. (laugh)
I cannot fake, Minka Kelly is a bad shorty. Granted, I think she was not good enough to rock alongside the big homie Derek Jeter, but this just coming from a fan's perspective. Come on, you cannot be off on your baseball IQ and you are romantically linked to a living baseball legend. (laugh)
(LAUGH) I cannot fake, this is hilarious. Dang, CB, be easy big homie!
(LAUGH) Leave it up to Chris Bosh to make his most embarrassing moments extend all the way to the NBA Finals post-game championship celebration. Michelle Obama may need to keep Barack close by when they all go on their White House tour over the summer. (laugh)
Just a few years ago, I would literally masturbate to select episodes of "Weeds" based on my sick addiction to Mary Louise-Parker. However, the irritating acting, the weak story lines, overly much nudity on her behalf? Ugh, not so much. Fingers crossed this new (and potentially last) season will make me once again pull out my penis and re-fall in love with Nancy Botwin. (laugh)
(laugh) I love the fact Cliff Lee has yet to win a game thus far this season. Not so much because I think he ditched the New York Yankees hard body in 2011 to join the Philadelphia Phillies, but because the trade talks only seem to heat up. I would hate to imagine what the Yankees would have to give up to land Lee and his remaining three years, contract-wise, but the idea of what he could do rocking pinstripes? Man oh man. (laugh)
(laugh) LeBron James has a ring. Incredible. I cannot believe the big homie finally got what he has chased for so long.
(laugh) This is pretty ill for an XXL Magazine cover. Just when you think Rick Ross is going to fall back and catch a breather, the big homie stomps back onto the mainstream. Very very very dope.
If there was ever one reason why I get jealous of photographers, it is the fact they get to take photos like this and get paid for them. (laugh) Granted, if you are a photographer who takes photos of fluffy cats and dogs, maybe we are both dreaming, but still, this is just insane. (laugh)
One thing I have come to realize is women in the adult industry who have built their image up with a stack of titles tend to try and upgrade parts of their body. Take for example, Abella Anderson (up above), who is much like Amia Miley, Bridgette B and my dear ole Alexis Breeze, in the sense she upgraded her chest. Now I no longer have an issues with so-called "fake breasts" --> implants, just as long as you did not enter the industry without them. Seeing a woman's body go from decent to overly huge? Nahhhhhh. As much as I love the home girl Abella, her out-of-nowhere Ice La Fox type boobs have thrown me off.
I miss the "old" Tila Tequila. Seriously. Yes, I do realize this is not Tila, but her image, complexion and overall sassy tattoos make me think of her. Tila used to drive me crazy, searching across plenty of risky, "I really should not click on this link because of the potential virus attached to it but I am so horny it is worth the risk"-type websites just hoping to catch her in the nude.
Ahh.....Tila. The fact I got to interview you is enough for me. I swear we could have had sex. I just, know, it. (laugh)
The year 2010 sure was an interesting one. Actually, quite honestly, summer 2010 brings me a bunch of memories. For the first (and last time), I drove to Missouri in the Rav4 alongside mom dukes and my homegirl Pepper, stopping at my aunt's crib mid-way there and finishing the trip through St. Louis. Then there was the baseball post-All-Star trades like Lance Berkman joining the New York Yankees just weeks after the Cliff Lee trade fell through. (laugh) One wild memory is Montana Fishburne. Such a cute woman, daughter to the iconic Larry Fishburne. Her move to the adult industry and the wild antics which followed? Yup, such a memorable 2010. (laugh)
I would not call or describe this as a sickness, but I have an issue with wanting to sex or at least consider placing my penis in every woman I meet's vaginas. To every last woman I have hugged, kissed and given my number to (maybe even e-mail address), I wanted and still want to have sex with a few of you. (laugh)
I always wished I could get into photography. Something about the idea of getting carried away by a snapshot always fascinated me. Shucks, I even worked in the "Digital Imaging" department of Best Buy my senior year in high school. But I could never "get" it. Even in today's times where TwitPics and Instagrams reign supreme, my interest of capturing errrry last moment is gone.
(laugh) Say what you want, but Eli Manning is MY DUDE. (laugh) It was such a wild 2011-2012 season, but Eli and those Green Bay Packers ---> New York Giants showed the value of a play-off run. For all the naysayers who place Aaron Rodgers above Eli (which most of you understandably have good reason to do so), this video is for you. (laugh)
All jokes aside, I wish the best of luck to Lola Monroe and her rap career, but I swear, errrytime I see her, I have to masturbate to a few Lacey Duvalle videos. (laugh) Just keeping it all the way real, mannnn! (laugh)
(laugh) I cannot fake, this is pretty hilarious. Making fun of Nicki Minaj's --> Lil Kim's iconic pose with Mickey Mouse's head on a chain? (laugh) Whoooa!
I have made the shocking claim which includes a Top 5 Dead or Alive. While Jay-Z and Notorious B.I.G. are automatics for me, I cannot help but place Curren$y and Action Bronson in there. It is impossible to call it premature when you look at their body of work and their non-stop hustle. Here is once again why Bronson is such an ill New Yorker.
(laugh) I will be the first to admit it, I never thought the Heat had a chance to win one game let alone four from this NBA Finals match-up. The comprehension of Heat having enough starters "and" bench players to cover the arsenal Scott Brooks has? No way! (laugh) From the start I said, "Thunder will sweep, but I am rooting for the Heat."
With the Heat up 2-1, I still see the Thunder taking this series by storm (no pun intended).
(laugh) If Eli Manning does not rock some Yankee gear and toss out a first-pitch this season, I may have to start rooting for the New York Jets. (laugh) Kidding, kidding!
(laugh) Cannot believe the Patriots picked up Jake Ballard after the New York Giants let go of my homie, which they planned to sign at a later date, just to get in the GMen's face! (laugh) File this up there with Steve Smith inking a deal with the Philadelphia Eagles last year. (laugh)
I could not have asked for a more special June 12th. Alex Rodriguez makes history by tying the all-time record for grand slams with the iconic New York Yankees mogul Lou Gehrig. Wow. Wow. Wow. Oh yeah, the Yankees won the game too! (laugh)
(laugh) I have seen some pretty sick things in my life, but realizing this is what Nas wanted to do with Jay-Z's image at Summer Jam 2002? No bueno. (laugh) Just to think, after all these years I thought Hot 97 did Nasty Nas wrong by banning this stunt but now it all makes sense. Wow!
My cousin had some crazy fun last year rocking with the Heat. Two wins away from the NBA championship, but at least made it to the big show. Word to Steve Nash.
There are two mix tapes I cannot get enough of.
Curren$y's "Covert Coup" and Action Bronson's "Blue Chips."
Pure dope-ness from start to finish.
On the real for real, the "Blue Chips" mix tape by Action Bronson and Party Supplies may be the best gritty compilation of beats and rhymes I have ever heard. Something about the way Action keeps the tales so dirty and unfiltered over those beats? Wild. Wild. Wild. (laugh)
Now check this. I have taken showers with women before, I have had girls take towels off having come out of a bath/shower, but getting teased courtesy of a wet t-shirt? NEVER! There has to be a "Once You Start Having Sexual Relations" check list somewhere on this world wide web, right? (laugh)
One thing I never really considered is having a girlfriend who wants to be naked out in public. While I would love to think, "YEahhhhhhhh BOooooOoooOooooy!," I cannot hep but think, "Nahhhh. Fall back." (laugh) Luckily, I do not live in Florida (anymore) where you could drive a couple miles in a little town like Port St. John and find a grip of them (although a majority had crazy elderly folks at them.) Regardless, I still ponder such a difficult scenario.
I am literally crying right now. I love pop culture! (laugh) Classic.
(laugh) Big ups to my big homie Erik Parker for keeping it gully with Nas. (laugh) Hearing Nas talk so freely, well, slightly constrained, is pure dope-ness! Honestly. There are some artists who are difficult to get to open up, but Nas seems like he had a real opinion on the whole Gwyneth Paltrow x "Ni**as In Paris for real" tweet last week. (laugh) Dope, dope, dope!
This music video? This record? This dopeness? Umm, straight illy! I really tried to fake on listening to this, but once I did, plus add in the music video? Wowwwzers. Incredibly ill. Really glad to see Kanye West has his own producer/rapper on the G.O.O.D. Music team. Crazy.
Yes, it is official. If by some miracle I actually take the concept of marriage seriously, it will be along the lines of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith. I just cannot imagine being with one vagina for the rest of my life. And no, do not blame it on my age or think this is some 'immature' idea. (laugh)
Man, can you imagine what would go down if Ma$e really signed to G.O.O.D. Music? As much as I love Ma$e, he is like your love of something from back in the day. Some things were perfect during "their" time. It is like imagining Michael Jordan coming out of retirement, joining a young squad of players and playing harder than all of them. Oh wait, this already happened? (laugh)
I love champagne, but never have I thought about giving a woman a champagne facial. Oh yes, thank you for new ideas, Internet! (laugh)